Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Best 5 Ark Music Factory Videos (Because It's Not Just Rebecca Black's "Friday")

While nothing compares to the sheer delight that is Rebecca Black's "Friday", the rest of the the singers at Ark Music Factory sure try their darndest to put up a fight. Give it time; sooner or later, these tweens will be stars. And, with that sentiment in mind, we begin with #5.
5. C.J. Fam - "Ordinary Pop Star"

 With my well-trained ear from years of watching American Idol, I would have to say that C.J. Fam has the best voice of these five singers. So the hilarity of this video does not come from the vocals, but rather the ridiculous concept of Fam wanting to be an ordinary girl instead of a pop star, when she is in fact an ordinary girl, not a pop star. Even if we make the assumption that this song is simply wishful thinking, it's pretty ridiculous watching this 11 year old prancing around photo shoots and the red carpet.

4. Alana Lee - "Butterflies"

I don't really want to make fun of this one. It's not really any worse than any other cookie cutter tween song; it's just a simple song about a guy who gives Lee butterflies. The only thing that makes it really silly is the seemingly obligatory rap interlude by the same dude who appears in every video on this list. Really, in the only video he doesn't rap ("Ordinary Pop Star"), he's still there as some sort of director. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's always there as a reassuring presence, whether it's here where he promises Alana that everything's going to be alright with her boy, or in Rebecca Black's "Friday" where he agrees with the 13 year old singer that Friday is indeed the time to party. The dude's great. 

3. Kaya - "Can't Get You Out of My Mind"

 Of all the videos here, this one seems to have the best chance to be a legitimate hit (although really, the competition's not that fierce). Kaya looks like a mini-Ke$h, and at the end of the video she gives a smirk and turn away that you swear will be followed by an "I like your beard." And half way through the video, just when you think it'll be a typical late 2000's girl singing at the camera in the club video, she switches it around, breaking out the typical early 2000's synchronized dance moves. You see, she's full of surprises.

2. Britt Rutter - "Without Your Love"

This very well could be the music video if the future; the song encompasses a relationship contained entirely on a computer. Disregarding the fact that the actual song has nothing to do with the video, it's impressive that Britt Rutter manages to have a boyfriend who she never talks to in real life. And, when said boyfriend strays, Ark Music Factory Rap Dude is there to cheer her up! Yay!


1. Rebecca Black - "Friday"

And of course, the original bad Ark Music Factory video. What's there to say that hasn't been said about this heaping pile of awfulness/awesomeness? Should I talk about Rebecca's need to "have [her] bowl"? Her agonizing choice between kicking it in the back or front seat? Her repeated incantation of "fun fun fun fun" at the chorus as if that could be a replacement for an actual lyric? Or the much-needed lesson at the end of the song that teaches us all the proper order of the days of the week? Well, I guess just talked about all those things.

No comments:

Post a Comment